So, another night where I sat in bed for a while, wide awake. I decided not to just sit there until 3am this time, so that the inner monologue demons could get to work and mangle up my brain, so, I got up. I might as well make use of my time for something at least vaguely constructive if I'm going to be awake, even when I do have to be up in about four and a half hours (1.45am now), for my final day before having to return to work on Thursday. Lots to do.
Since getting up just before 1am, I put all the washing up away, wrote some details for part of what I need to do tomorrow, designed a flyer for an upcoming release one of my bands (Diascorium) is involved with, ready to print out and hand out at the weekend, replied to a couple of messages, updated the Sloth Hammer website with a few images, details of a release and general overhauling, ate a banana, drunk tea and listened to chilled out, slow, atmospheric black metal (in the shape of a Swedish band called Lustre and Ukrainian geniuses Drudkh).
All highly crazy stuff I'm sure you'll agree.
Talking of demons, I recently watched the film 'The Rite', and rather enjoyed it. It has Anthony Hopkins and Rutger Hauer amongst the cast, and, basically, is about a young priest doubting his religion and calling, being sent to Italy by his superiors to take a course to become an exorcist. Hopkins (almost as ever) is brilliant, and it is generally a very well done film, with a reminiscence of the style of the 70s intense thriller style pictures, not much music, quite slow moving in parts, but gripping, plenty of bits referring back and forth to each other, so you've got to keep watching, and nothing too cheesy.
Apparently it is based on a real priest who went through the course in Rome, at the Vatican, and there are 14 registered exorcists. I'm obviously skeptical about the whole thing, what with my not believing in God, Satan and any related malarkey, but it's always an interesting subject to see in films and documentaries. There were a few exorcism audio recordings kicking around a few years ago and, sonically it is absolutely harrowing stuff, and from what I've seen it is too. It shows how deranged the human mind can convince itself to be, and what a hold it has over someone's body too.
Anyway, it's now just after 3am and finally I am starting to feel tired, so I'll call it a day for now and hope to get three hours sleep at best. I may expand on this in the future, but I'll simply post up some links for you to read.
IMDb link for The Rite
L.A. Times article about 'the real' exorcist
Wikipedia page about exorcism, includes a list of films about it
At least I can add on making another post to the blog when I didn't expect to be for a few days to the list of things. Small consolation for not sleeping!
Wednesday 20 April 2011
Monday 18 April 2011
Nothing like a good bit of illness to make you feel better!
When I was somewhere in my late teens (my brain says 19, but my logical structure thought process isn't convinced), I had tonsilitis and glandular fever at the same time.
It wasn't fun.
Not even close.
I didn't leave the house for a long while.
Illness is a weird thing. Given the right circumstances it can induce some sort of weird catharsis when coming out of it, and enlightenment whilst in the grips of it. I was barely able to function for the first couple of weeks of that time, but as soon as it loosened its clutches around my (absolutely pain drenched) throat and neck, I had to find ways of passing the time.
My dad had 2 Oxford English Dictionaries, the 'shorter' versions I'd guess they were called, but, there is still in excess of 3,500 pages of it, full of words, quotes, icons, figures of mythology and history, information, so, of course, whilst delirious with illness I decided to set about reading both of these, AND took notes to boot. Many pages of mad scribbles, illegible sentences made up around these words that were intended for insane song lyrics, some of which made it, some formed the basis of the idea for one of the earlier bands I started, Tangaroa (a name found in said books), and some of which I still have now, some took up finality in the piece I wrote 'Day One Promise', but most still languishes, unfinished, un-used.
It opened up a whole new world though, gave me some kind of focus to keep on going each day, as well as maybe also making me feel like I was experiencing some kind of psychosis at the same time.
Somewhere else around my late teen state, I had a wisdom tooth out, and was laid up for a long while with a massive square jaw, lots of pain and at least two weeks of house-bound time to pass. I seem to remember some similar kind of psychosis and catharsis engulfing me, but I can't quite grasp what happened this time. Weird how your brain can block some times out. Even though I know I was there, it all definitely happened, but I just can't unblur the facts.
I've been off work for what is now coming up to three weeks. I've had physical illness, but deeply seated in there also is just pure exhaustion and utter depression. I just don't feel like I can fight all the shit anymore. I just don't feel like running, or even walking, or even crawling in stages up the hills. If this is the catharsis that I'm going to garner from this situation then I'm very much not impressed. If this is the great light at the end of this particular tunnel then I definitely got on the wrong fucking train at the start of the journey! However, I'm not going to argue, I just don't have the energy, and it would do me no good, so I'm just going to accept things, once again, and I'm still listening to The Orb from a few hours ago, and I only managed a couple of hours sleep, and tomorrow is another day, and things can only get better and whatever world full of clichés I can muster up to help me get through.
I feel quite gutted that D:Ream made the 'things can only get better' line so horrible to say out loud though. At least Brian Cox is now up to something a bit more impressive these days.
It's going to be a long day I feel. I might just have to go back to bed and try to sleep some more.
It wasn't fun.
Not even close.
I didn't leave the house for a long while.
Illness is a weird thing. Given the right circumstances it can induce some sort of weird catharsis when coming out of it, and enlightenment whilst in the grips of it. I was barely able to function for the first couple of weeks of that time, but as soon as it loosened its clutches around my (absolutely pain drenched) throat and neck, I had to find ways of passing the time.
My dad had 2 Oxford English Dictionaries, the 'shorter' versions I'd guess they were called, but, there is still in excess of 3,500 pages of it, full of words, quotes, icons, figures of mythology and history, information, so, of course, whilst delirious with illness I decided to set about reading both of these, AND took notes to boot. Many pages of mad scribbles, illegible sentences made up around these words that were intended for insane song lyrics, some of which made it, some formed the basis of the idea for one of the earlier bands I started, Tangaroa (a name found in said books), and some of which I still have now, some took up finality in the piece I wrote 'Day One Promise', but most still languishes, unfinished, un-used.
It opened up a whole new world though, gave me some kind of focus to keep on going each day, as well as maybe also making me feel like I was experiencing some kind of psychosis at the same time.
Somewhere else around my late teen state, I had a wisdom tooth out, and was laid up for a long while with a massive square jaw, lots of pain and at least two weeks of house-bound time to pass. I seem to remember some similar kind of psychosis and catharsis engulfing me, but I can't quite grasp what happened this time. Weird how your brain can block some times out. Even though I know I was there, it all definitely happened, but I just can't unblur the facts.
I've been off work for what is now coming up to three weeks. I've had physical illness, but deeply seated in there also is just pure exhaustion and utter depression. I just don't feel like I can fight all the shit anymore. I just don't feel like running, or even walking, or even crawling in stages up the hills. If this is the catharsis that I'm going to garner from this situation then I'm very much not impressed. If this is the great light at the end of this particular tunnel then I definitely got on the wrong fucking train at the start of the journey! However, I'm not going to argue, I just don't have the energy, and it would do me no good, so I'm just going to accept things, once again, and I'm still listening to The Orb from a few hours ago, and I only managed a couple of hours sleep, and tomorrow is another day, and things can only get better and whatever world full of clichés I can muster up to help me get through.
I feel quite gutted that D:Ream made the 'things can only get better' line so horrible to say out loud though. At least Brian Cox is now up to something a bit more impressive these days.
It's going to be a long day I feel. I might just have to go back to bed and try to sleep some more.
The History of the Devil, Nathan Barley and bloody insomnia!
So, it's half three in the morning. I can't sleep. My brain won't shut up. It's been saying horrible things to me since about midnight. I decided once it got to 3am that it's not going to get any better or nicer, so I had to get up.
I wasn't too tired when I got in bed, but thought watching a bit of visual stuff would help see me to sleep. Watched a few episodes of the magnificent Nathan Barley, a genius piece of work by those mad comedy scientists Charlie Brooker and Chris Morris, two of the most important people on the planet. The temptation to chatter lots about this one-off series is quite high, but I'll leave that for now. All I'll say is, if you've seen it, you know how clever it is, if you haven't, go watch it, and then come back to me and we'll talk about it.
If you don't know about it, you really should. Click this very active lovely link to read more...
After that I watched a program I randomly found, 'The History of the Devil', an hour long documentary about how the myth of Satan has become what it is today, where it started, the various guises it's taken throughout the ages, religions, cultures and scriptures. Pretty interesting stuff. The closing line of it made me quite angry though, from the Rt. Rev. Richard Holloway (Bishop of Edinburgh - retired). I agree with the most part of the statement, but then the man completely missed the point of everything! The part in bold is what got me!
'It's embroidery, it's myth making, it's poetry. It can be good fun except that it has produced great evil. A human invention, but one that's rebounded on us because it's given us permission to do terrible things to each other, which is why I think that we should close Hell down and finally banish the Devil and get rid of him.'
YOU IDIOT!! You almost got it right. If you'd have said that 'we should close religion down and finally banish both to being just small bit part characters in a small chapter in the huge history books (certainly longer than any bible would have you believe). Religion causes too much fighting, war, suffering, injustice, delusions and many other terrible things and we should get rid of it' then you would have got it right! You can't have one without the other, and SURELY as a Reverend he should have known that?! Surely people can see the amount of fighting that goes on in the name of God? Mind you, this guy isn't anywhere near as much of a mouth-breathing, drooling idiot as the soldier who speaks just before him, or the General that President, (or should I say after watching George Carlin enough times) Governor Bush put in charge of fighting Bin Laden after 9/11... he said that the enemy of the US is 'a guy called Satan' and not the physical people who carried out the attacks. I despair for our culture, I really do. Absolutely brainless idiots.
The Reverend also said this, which is why the closing line enraged me more, because this says it all about how people who follow God use it all as an excuse for their terrible actions... 'If you're fighting a war against evil, what begins to happen I think is that you turn into the evil you are fighting.'
Absolutely bang on Reverend. It made me start thinking maybe he was retired because he finally realised that religion is complete nonsense and a scourge of our planet, but it seems he wasn't quite on the right wavelength judging by what followed. Oh so close.
As an antitheist, I don't believe in God, or the Devil, or in fact religion at all. I am vehemently opposed to it as it does more damage to the world than anything else. It annoys me though that someone who can renounce the Devil, or say that the Devil doesn't exist can still believe in God, which is the precise same kind of non-existent entity. It's all just one big controlling myth, given simply as a metaphor for good and bad.
I am all for people having faith in something, each to their own, whatever gets you through. It's just completely and utterly not for me. I just don't understand how someone can have blind faith in something that has caused so much bad to happen, even more so than its 'bad' counterpart.
Despite my thoughts on the closing line, the rest of the program is presented pretty well, unbiasedly and interestingly, although it does miss out on quite a few bits it could have addressed, maybe they didn't have enough money to make it twice as long, as it should have been. It's definitely worth a watch though.
YOU CAN STREAM 'THE HISTORY OF THE DEVIL' completely for free in its entirety here...
I guess, despite how completely different the two programs are, they both include messages about 'The Rise of the Idiots' and how they are so stupid they don't even realise they're idiots.
Well, it's now 4.25am, and I'm listening to the lush, chilling, ambient sounds of The Orb in an attempt to make me tired. I'm not sure it's working. I have 3 hours of them lined up in Winamp so hopefully it will have some effect. I'm going to try and sleep now anyway as this is ridiculous. This post took too long to write, but at least that little nugget of anger is out of my system.
Here is the vastly shortened version of the majestic ambient piece 'The Blue Room'... Click the logo.
I wasn't too tired when I got in bed, but thought watching a bit of visual stuff would help see me to sleep. Watched a few episodes of the magnificent Nathan Barley, a genius piece of work by those mad comedy scientists Charlie Brooker and Chris Morris, two of the most important people on the planet. The temptation to chatter lots about this one-off series is quite high, but I'll leave that for now. All I'll say is, if you've seen it, you know how clever it is, if you haven't, go watch it, and then come back to me and we'll talk about it.
If you don't know about it, you really should. Click this very active lovely link to read more...
After that I watched a program I randomly found, 'The History of the Devil', an hour long documentary about how the myth of Satan has become what it is today, where it started, the various guises it's taken throughout the ages, religions, cultures and scriptures. Pretty interesting stuff. The closing line of it made me quite angry though, from the Rt. Rev. Richard Holloway (Bishop of Edinburgh - retired). I agree with the most part of the statement, but then the man completely missed the point of everything! The part in bold is what got me!
'It's embroidery, it's myth making, it's poetry. It can be good fun except that it has produced great evil. A human invention, but one that's rebounded on us because it's given us permission to do terrible things to each other, which is why I think that we should close Hell down and finally banish the Devil and get rid of him.'
YOU IDIOT!! You almost got it right. If you'd have said that 'we should close religion down and finally banish both to being just small bit part characters in a small chapter in the huge history books (certainly longer than any bible would have you believe). Religion causes too much fighting, war, suffering, injustice, delusions and many other terrible things and we should get rid of it' then you would have got it right! You can't have one without the other, and SURELY as a Reverend he should have known that?! Surely people can see the amount of fighting that goes on in the name of God? Mind you, this guy isn't anywhere near as much of a mouth-breathing, drooling idiot as the soldier who speaks just before him, or the General that President, (or should I say after watching George Carlin enough times) Governor Bush put in charge of fighting Bin Laden after 9/11... he said that the enemy of the US is 'a guy called Satan' and not the physical people who carried out the attacks. I despair for our culture, I really do. Absolutely brainless idiots.
The Reverend also said this, which is why the closing line enraged me more, because this says it all about how people who follow God use it all as an excuse for their terrible actions... 'If you're fighting a war against evil, what begins to happen I think is that you turn into the evil you are fighting.'
Absolutely bang on Reverend. It made me start thinking maybe he was retired because he finally realised that religion is complete nonsense and a scourge of our planet, but it seems he wasn't quite on the right wavelength judging by what followed. Oh so close.
As an antitheist, I don't believe in God, or the Devil, or in fact religion at all. I am vehemently opposed to it as it does more damage to the world than anything else. It annoys me though that someone who can renounce the Devil, or say that the Devil doesn't exist can still believe in God, which is the precise same kind of non-existent entity. It's all just one big controlling myth, given simply as a metaphor for good and bad.
I am all for people having faith in something, each to their own, whatever gets you through. It's just completely and utterly not for me. I just don't understand how someone can have blind faith in something that has caused so much bad to happen, even more so than its 'bad' counterpart.
Despite my thoughts on the closing line, the rest of the program is presented pretty well, unbiasedly and interestingly, although it does miss out on quite a few bits it could have addressed, maybe they didn't have enough money to make it twice as long, as it should have been. It's definitely worth a watch though.
YOU CAN STREAM 'THE HISTORY OF THE DEVIL' completely for free in its entirety here...
I guess, despite how completely different the two programs are, they both include messages about 'The Rise of the Idiots' and how they are so stupid they don't even realise they're idiots.
Well, it's now 4.25am, and I'm listening to the lush, chilling, ambient sounds of The Orb in an attempt to make me tired. I'm not sure it's working. I have 3 hours of them lined up in Winamp so hopefully it will have some effect. I'm going to try and sleep now anyway as this is ridiculous. This post took too long to write, but at least that little nugget of anger is out of my system.
Here is the vastly shortened version of the majestic ambient piece 'The Blue Room'... Click the logo.
Sunday 17 April 2011
Rebecca Black (and her affiliates) and Justin Bieber must die.
I've just realised that I'm missing a chance here. Music is what I know most about, and, as previously hinted, I always have an opinion, usually constructive but not afraid to hold back if needed, so as such I'm not going to ignore music on this blog anymore.
I'll probably mention some lesser known / lesser liked music along the way too, because that's what I love, but, am pretty sure that being a cynical misanthrope, most of my rants will be against music (and the people making it) that should be, quite simply, deleted from history, and the sooner the better.
I also won't be afraid to say what I feel about more generally accepted, popular sounds, especially if they are, indeed, utterly shit. There is a lot of damaging music out there, and the mass media seem to believe it is metal and its sub-genres that causes the problem. To be totally honest, it saves more problems than it causes, giving the kids that get into it more of a focus, release, self-worth, an outlet. There's just a few incidents that hit the headlines because those that do the crime listen to metal. Big deal. There are more serial killers, rapists, generally bad people that DON'T listen to metal. I'm pretty sure that Colonel Gadaffi doesn't sit in his room on a night and listen to Mayhem, or Pol Pot didn't listen to Venom, or Jeffrey Dahmer didn't listen to Cannibal Corpse.
On Friday night I was introduced for the first time to the sounds of Rebecca Black, who is currently first candidate in my list of people to be evaporated with flamethrowers. Although, really it should be the writers of the pop idiocy that is 'Friday'. The lyrics make me despair for all humanity. It is disgraceful that there is such knowledge and intellect out there in this immense planet to be hoovered up by the miracle that is the mind, and that this is the best some people can come up with. It sounds like, and lyrically is so infinitely patronising, that it's music for two year olds.
These actually genuinely are the lyrics in this song!
'Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after...wards'
...all delivered in sickly sweet, safe sounds that make me wish I could self-lobotomise, in ice pick through the eyeball fashion (yes, this is true, here is a video, and also a still I grabbed to prove it).
Video from a documentary about Lobotomies
I don't even need to explain myself with this one why it is more of a bad influence on 'the youth of today etc' than even the most violent death or black metal music, I think the terrible grammar and patronising words speak for themselves.
I hate myself for this, but here is the video (I wish there was a way for you to watch it without actually having to watch it. It's not a good experience. It's not even funny it's that appalling)...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0
I'm sorry.
At the time of posting, this video has had OVER 100 MILLION VIEWS!!! I wonder how many of those are to see the absurdity of it. I fear not enough. That figure though simply explains why I'm pissed off about this. I don't understand how people can justifiably get rich from nonsense like this, it's simply not deserved. The creators will have made more from this in one horrible swoop than I make in many years of full time, life draining work.
I had a read on the Wikipedia page about her. The full story is that her parents paid for her to have this video made, sort of more for themselves and her friends, so, in essence it started as a bit of fun that suddenly went 'viral'. Amazing how close the word viral is to virus eh? The fact that now, everyone involved is going to make a fortune, probably even fuelled by the likes of me ranting about how bad it is, so more people look, so more people know, is utterly devastating. Hopefully one day, people in general will look and stop entertaining this garbage.
According to the page, she is keen to do a duet with Justin Bieber. Hopefully that means they will both be in the same room at the same time, making a lot easier to get rid of BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME! Someone please do this planet a tiny favour and eradicate both of these vermin when that happens. PLEASE!?
Here is the death-core parody by TOTALITY, which, whether you like death-core, death metal, metal at all, you've got to admit this is funny, AND, for all those who continually say 'Oh, how can you listen to that garbage, it's just noise and you can't tell what they are saying', YOU can't tell what they're saying, but once your ears tune in to the style of it, OR if you have a lyric sheet, OR if, like this it's a cover, then YES, you can tell they are saying something, don't be so pathetic. It's MEANT to not be heard properly by people who don't like it. That's the point, it's meant to be extreme sounding and exclusionary. Deal with it. Death-core by the way, for those who don't know, is a mix of death metal and hardcore, much maligned en masse by the death metal elites out there, but, still has plenty of good things within its style. I'm not necessarily saying this band, or this song (in its own right) is particularly awesome, but, it's a damn sight better than the original, and the idiots who are listening to the original and liking it should like this instead. I know that will never happen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi00ykRg_5c
Also, here is The Inbetweeners bus wanker short mash up, which I think is class!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwmLfoxSVkw
Die. All of you responsible for this abomination. You don't deserve to exist.
I'll probably mention some lesser known / lesser liked music along the way too, because that's what I love, but, am pretty sure that being a cynical misanthrope, most of my rants will be against music (and the people making it) that should be, quite simply, deleted from history, and the sooner the better.
I also won't be afraid to say what I feel about more generally accepted, popular sounds, especially if they are, indeed, utterly shit. There is a lot of damaging music out there, and the mass media seem to believe it is metal and its sub-genres that causes the problem. To be totally honest, it saves more problems than it causes, giving the kids that get into it more of a focus, release, self-worth, an outlet. There's just a few incidents that hit the headlines because those that do the crime listen to metal. Big deal. There are more serial killers, rapists, generally bad people that DON'T listen to metal. I'm pretty sure that Colonel Gadaffi doesn't sit in his room on a night and listen to Mayhem, or Pol Pot didn't listen to Venom, or Jeffrey Dahmer didn't listen to Cannibal Corpse.
On Friday night I was introduced for the first time to the sounds of Rebecca Black, who is currently first candidate in my list of people to be evaporated with flamethrowers. Although, really it should be the writers of the pop idiocy that is 'Friday'. The lyrics make me despair for all humanity. It is disgraceful that there is such knowledge and intellect out there in this immense planet to be hoovered up by the miracle that is the mind, and that this is the best some people can come up with. It sounds like, and lyrically is so infinitely patronising, that it's music for two year olds.
These actually genuinely are the lyrics in this song!
'Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after...wards'
...all delivered in sickly sweet, safe sounds that make me wish I could self-lobotomise, in ice pick through the eyeball fashion (yes, this is true, here is a video, and also a still I grabbed to prove it).
Video from a documentary about Lobotomies
I don't even need to explain myself with this one why it is more of a bad influence on 'the youth of today etc' than even the most violent death or black metal music, I think the terrible grammar and patronising words speak for themselves.
I hate myself for this, but here is the video (I wish there was a way for you to watch it without actually having to watch it. It's not a good experience. It's not even funny it's that appalling)...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0
I'm sorry.
At the time of posting, this video has had OVER 100 MILLION VIEWS!!! I wonder how many of those are to see the absurdity of it. I fear not enough. That figure though simply explains why I'm pissed off about this. I don't understand how people can justifiably get rich from nonsense like this, it's simply not deserved. The creators will have made more from this in one horrible swoop than I make in many years of full time, life draining work.
I had a read on the Wikipedia page about her. The full story is that her parents paid for her to have this video made, sort of more for themselves and her friends, so, in essence it started as a bit of fun that suddenly went 'viral'. Amazing how close the word viral is to virus eh? The fact that now, everyone involved is going to make a fortune, probably even fuelled by the likes of me ranting about how bad it is, so more people look, so more people know, is utterly devastating. Hopefully one day, people in general will look and stop entertaining this garbage.
According to the page, she is keen to do a duet with Justin Bieber. Hopefully that means they will both be in the same room at the same time, making a lot easier to get rid of BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME! Someone please do this planet a tiny favour and eradicate both of these vermin when that happens. PLEASE!?
Here is the death-core parody by TOTALITY, which, whether you like death-core, death metal, metal at all, you've got to admit this is funny, AND, for all those who continually say 'Oh, how can you listen to that garbage, it's just noise and you can't tell what they are saying', YOU can't tell what they're saying, but once your ears tune in to the style of it, OR if you have a lyric sheet, OR if, like this it's a cover, then YES, you can tell they are saying something, don't be so pathetic. It's MEANT to not be heard properly by people who don't like it. That's the point, it's meant to be extreme sounding and exclusionary. Deal with it. Death-core by the way, for those who don't know, is a mix of death metal and hardcore, much maligned en masse by the death metal elites out there, but, still has plenty of good things within its style. I'm not necessarily saying this band, or this song (in its own right) is particularly awesome, but, it's a damn sight better than the original, and the idiots who are listening to the original and liking it should like this instead. I know that will never happen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi00ykRg_5c
Also, here is The Inbetweeners bus wanker short mash up, which I think is class!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwmLfoxSVkw
Die. All of you responsible for this abomination. You don't deserve to exist.
So, let's get this straight...! Time to stop drinking again.
Failed at not drinking. Once again. Within minutes as well. Paulie P is poorly P. Mind, body, energy.
This post isn't even anything to do with the night I had to walk away from last night. In fact it was a good time, considering how fully not good I've been doing, yesterday especially. This has just been coming for a while as my brain now, frankly, feels like it's trying to rather quickly erode itself from the inside.
It's not even like I actually drink that much either. Know THAT sounds cliche but it's true. Compared to what I did way back when and on various many not so way back whens. Before I drank because I could, and, generally, a lot. Probably lucky to avoid hospital a couple of times, and that's saying something. One of the nights, I have no idea how I survived. Worst time ever. I know folks brag about their drinking prowess (which is a bit weird anyway). This isn't what this is. This is me saying I know I can drink ludicrously heavy when the time is required or right, and the suffering for it is now getting astronomical.
And yet I still go back. NOW it's an addiction, it's an under control addiction, generally, but still it is that, and now it needs to go. The social aspect of it is the part that controls it. Not just, 'have one to be sociable', but 'have some to survive the social situation'. Part of it is because I actually like the taste, of lager, wines, spirits, ales (just not cider, that stuff is verminous), they've all got nice tasting variants of them. I'll definitely miss whisky!
I also drink, not to forget, but to have at least a little time of relief from the stuff that breaks my brain and the strength of my mind for a large majority of the time. Even whilst asleep I just can't properly rest. I'm not trying to run away from my problems through it. I am happy to deal with them and be responsible for whatever happens, but it's nice just to have a few hours here and there being given the ability to put them on the shelf, and give my brain a rest. Surely that's a valid reason. In fact, I don't feel like I should justify what I do either way, I guess I'm just talking it out with myself here.
Now I just want to / need to give up, at least stop for a while, because it's just too much for me to physically and mentally take. If I can cut it out and be healthier, less drained as a result on the times I do drink these days then I can feel more energetic to get on with life, and to sort things out. There is a financial aspect to it as well, the extra cash from the now small amount that I drink would be nice in the pocket / bank / saving towards other times.
I don't believe the cause of ALL life's problems, not even by a long shot, but, I know it causes some.
I'm not going to be preachy about it. I just wanted to make this post as a reminder in a way. I'm just going to try and get on with it. I didn't drink for about 4 years in between the age of 19(ish) and 23(ish). I'm sure I can do it again.
It's now a lot more official.
I think I like that fact.
I'll keep you posted on the progress.
This post isn't even anything to do with the night I had to walk away from last night. In fact it was a good time, considering how fully not good I've been doing, yesterday especially. This has just been coming for a while as my brain now, frankly, feels like it's trying to rather quickly erode itself from the inside.
It's not even like I actually drink that much either. Know THAT sounds cliche but it's true. Compared to what I did way back when and on various many not so way back whens. Before I drank because I could, and, generally, a lot. Probably lucky to avoid hospital a couple of times, and that's saying something. One of the nights, I have no idea how I survived. Worst time ever. I know folks brag about their drinking prowess (which is a bit weird anyway). This isn't what this is. This is me saying I know I can drink ludicrously heavy when the time is required or right, and the suffering for it is now getting astronomical.
And yet I still go back. NOW it's an addiction, it's an under control addiction, generally, but still it is that, and now it needs to go. The social aspect of it is the part that controls it. Not just, 'have one to be sociable', but 'have some to survive the social situation'. Part of it is because I actually like the taste, of lager, wines, spirits, ales (just not cider, that stuff is verminous), they've all got nice tasting variants of them. I'll definitely miss whisky!
I also drink, not to forget, but to have at least a little time of relief from the stuff that breaks my brain and the strength of my mind for a large majority of the time. Even whilst asleep I just can't properly rest. I'm not trying to run away from my problems through it. I am happy to deal with them and be responsible for whatever happens, but it's nice just to have a few hours here and there being given the ability to put them on the shelf, and give my brain a rest. Surely that's a valid reason. In fact, I don't feel like I should justify what I do either way, I guess I'm just talking it out with myself here.
Now I just want to / need to give up, at least stop for a while, because it's just too much for me to physically and mentally take. If I can cut it out and be healthier, less drained as a result on the times I do drink these days then I can feel more energetic to get on with life, and to sort things out. There is a financial aspect to it as well, the extra cash from the now small amount that I drink would be nice in the pocket / bank / saving towards other times.
I don't believe the cause of ALL life's problems, not even by a long shot, but, I know it causes some.
I'm not going to be preachy about it. I just wanted to make this post as a reminder in a way. I'm just going to try and get on with it. I didn't drink for about 4 years in between the age of 19(ish) and 23(ish). I'm sure I can do it again.
It's now a lot more official.
I think I like that fact.
I'll keep you posted on the progress.
Tuesday 5 April 2011
Calvin and Hobbes (combined) for President / Prime Minister / the only true God...
So, since I did only a brief post on Saturday about the illuminating Phrontistery website, and nothing on Sunday, I am now making up for lost time, triggered off by spotting a CALVIN AND HOBBES cartoon whilst searching for something relative to train of thought.
Amazing how things work.
Calvin and Hobbes saw me through many many years. It is one of the greatest ever concepts for anything (book, film, sound etc.), if you've never read them, then, please, sort your life out. I know that sounds an utterly brutal thing to say, but, seriously, they speak on, well, not just some, not just so many, but ALL levels. The word 'genius' is banded around willy-nilly (don't ask me why I put that in italics, it just seemed the right thing to do!), but Bill Watterson the creator IS, without any doubt, a genius.
When I was very young, I was raised on a diet of the Peanuts books, Garfield, The Beano, and I also loved the Wile E. Coyote / Roadrunner cartoons most of all. I discovered Calvin and Hobbes by chance when I was about 12 or 13, my mum handed me a book at Christmas time saying it looked like something I might enjoy. I'd never heard of it or seen it anywhere, but I read it that morning (well, most probably afternoon. I've never been one for getting up early, Christmas Days included!), and I almost literally wee'd myself with laughter. I soon got the entire collection and it changed my life. Even just the simple fact that it is named after a theologian and a philosopher is brilliant. Imagining a REAL 6 year old coming out with some of the things Calvin says is just mind boggling, and the fact he is sharing it all with a stuffed tiger that comes to life when nobody else is around is just inspired.
So,
instead of me talking, I'll just post up a few goodies, and let you read more about them, seriously, if you do one thing with your life from here on in, if you've never read any Calvin and Hobbes books, just do it.
and, this isn't by Watterson, but I want to find out who did this and shake them by the hand, this is absolutely incredible!!!
Wiki page about Calvin and Hobbes. Bill Watterson is an incredible man, with great judgement, and immense intellect
Pure gold in a box!
Amazing how things work.
Calvin and Hobbes saw me through many many years. It is one of the greatest ever concepts for anything (book, film, sound etc.), if you've never read them, then, please, sort your life out. I know that sounds an utterly brutal thing to say, but, seriously, they speak on, well, not just some, not just so many, but ALL levels. The word 'genius' is banded around willy-nilly (don't ask me why I put that in italics, it just seemed the right thing to do!), but Bill Watterson the creator IS, without any doubt, a genius.
When I was very young, I was raised on a diet of the Peanuts books, Garfield, The Beano, and I also loved the Wile E. Coyote / Roadrunner cartoons most of all. I discovered Calvin and Hobbes by chance when I was about 12 or 13, my mum handed me a book at Christmas time saying it looked like something I might enjoy. I'd never heard of it or seen it anywhere, but I read it that morning (well, most probably afternoon. I've never been one for getting up early, Christmas Days included!), and I almost literally wee'd myself with laughter. I soon got the entire collection and it changed my life. Even just the simple fact that it is named after a theologian and a philosopher is brilliant. Imagining a REAL 6 year old coming out with some of the things Calvin says is just mind boggling, and the fact he is sharing it all with a stuffed tiger that comes to life when nobody else is around is just inspired.
So,
instead of me talking, I'll just post up a few goodies, and let you read more about them, seriously, if you do one thing with your life from here on in, if you've never read any Calvin and Hobbes books, just do it.
and, this isn't by Watterson, but I want to find out who did this and shake them by the hand, this is absolutely incredible!!!
Wiki page about Calvin and Hobbes. Bill Watterson is an incredible man, with great judgement, and immense intellect
Pure gold in a box!
Monday 4 April 2011
The Daily Paul
I always fancied myself as a bit of a columnist. I've always scribbled down all manner of writings, trains of thoughts, done thousands of reviews in my time for various websites, either as contributions or in the music site I ran for nearly a dozen years, Raw Nerve.
In total I must have written, well, over 2,000 reviews for that site alone. Nowadays even writing one for mates' bands or even just a brief paragraph to include on a music blog post seems too much. I'm not really sure why. Maybe just getting out of the routine of it. Maybe somewhere in there my mind is saying 'Don't do it, once you do one, you'll want to do hundreds again, and you don't have time.' (Yes, my mind actually does speak that logically, and at length to me. That's not insane, right?!).
My brain still functions, in fact, better now than ever before, when it comes to getting the typed out sentences in good order, concise, or maybe not so concise, but, either way, descriptively and in-depth when required. When someone asks me about a band I can happily witter away at length about them, constructively, or, sometimes just brutally, but either way I have an opinion, yet, the 'typing out a review and posting it around online' side of my nature just seems to have faltered. Seems a shame really, but it is how it is.
I was never one of those reviewers that had to clarify everything I'd said at the end with a mark.
2 stars out of 5.
5 skulls out of 6.
350 satans out of 666.
9 cumshots out of 69.
1 dead hooker out of 5.
If I couldn't clear up my thoughts on it IN the review, I shouldn't really be writing it. Not saying anything bad against those people who DO use a mark, or writers who write for magazines that require a mark... I worked for Zero Tolerance magazine for their first dozen or so issues, and had to give marks, they gave out of 6, and, to me, the only figure that it's worth marking out of, that gives you a real clear indication over the course of thousands of records what is better (in your humble opinion) than another record is out of 100. Much more scope for manoeuvre amidst that amount of numbers.
It's just not for me.
I understand the thinking behind it, so that on a release poster, especially more prevalent in the film industry, they can have a big collection of who gave what in one easy glimpse, I'd very much rather try and come up with some kind of defining line, be it a comparison of bands ('for fans of' etc., although I'd dress it up in something like 'X getting off with Y whilst Z is looking and masturbating', or 'X beating the shit out of Y with Z handing them a sledgehammer to finish off the job'), or something that highlighted if the band were out of the ordinary, or just better than the rest of the crop, the reason why. 'This band smashes your head right off, so hard and so far that it goes on a journey through time, where it punches the first dinosaur, eats the first pizza, kicks the first football, shoots the first heroin, and returns back to your body one second after it left, just in time to hear the next section.'
You know,
something completely ludicrous and unreal like that.
Unfortunately I never used that synopsis or either of those comparisons in a real review, maybe I should take it up again just to use them.
Even more unfortunately, the website that a vast majority of my reviews were on has since perished, taking with them the reviews. I think it's possible to get them back, but even if I did, I really don't think I'd have the energy to house them anywhere else again, and I especially wouldn't have the time or commitment to go through each and every one and correct (potentially) plenty of bad grammar and cringeworthy points made about the recordings. I've always been intelligent enough to know how to construct sentences properly, or interestingly, and spell things right, but grammar (things like apostrophes especially) could sometimes be my undoing, and I know I'd simply have to go through it all and sort it all out!
The website went down not because of unpopularity or anything like that, quite the opposite... It finished a year ago, reviews stopped around four or five years ago, and I STILL get the odd email from bands wanting reviews on it. In fact, I moved out of my mum's house (for the second time after going back after a break up) about 7 years ago, and very occasionally she STILL takes in letters with CDs in them for review, despite many an email around to everyone I knew who sent them.
For the last few years it existed just as a forum, with a lot of sections, for and not for music, as well as hosted sections for bands. Gradually though, forums (on the whole) have became uncool. Social network sites point and laugh at forums, and, it is a bit of a shame. To be honest, with Myspace seemingly shooting its own feet off, Twitter being incredibly one dimensional, and all the others just being rubbish, Facebook is the only one that, despite a lot of people's hatred of it, seems to have credibility, plenty of things to do, as well as keeping the simplicity factor, and it's good for both young, old and musical inclined.
This wasn't my intention, to turn my daily column into an advert for Facebook, but, there you have it. Trains of thought are fantastic things. It's been the one thing I am good at. Be them lyrics / poems / pieces of rambled writing, of which I've also scribbled down literally thousands... and still to this day I've really only put them together legibly and conceptually into just one body of work.
I may use this space to chuck together some of my outpourings. Depends on how lucky you all turn out to be. (Insert clarifying sarcastic punctuation mark here... (!) Thank you).
I currently work for a newspaper. I make up adverts that go into papers all up and down the UK, from many a part of Scotland, right down to the Midlands, a lot in West Yorkshire, some in South Yorkshire, some in the North West. I am, by my own admissions, good at what I do. I am a very fussy worker, and, even though (for some stupid reason) we're not supposed to proof read what is sent to us to use in the adverts, I do, and again, and maybe once more. I double and treble check adverts are all lined up and as neat and as good as I can make them. Occasionally we get editorials / advertorials, which are basically the big adverts that look like news pieces but are actually adverts. Clever eh. So, you, the reader, think you are reading a report that someone has unbiasedly made about the company saying how great they are, when really, it's the company saying how great they are.
I'm getting closer to my aim of becoming a columnist. In my job, I make adverts look like columns in newspapers all over the UK, and in here / my reviews / my occasional rants and superlative ramble-fests about bands on Facebook, I feel like I am having my say.
Incredibly, I managed to tie that all together.
You'd think I even planned what I was going to write about!
(NB - I didn't draw the dinosaur used in this post, but it does look similar to how I would probably draw one, so thanks to whoever painstaking drew that masterpiece)
By now, you'll have noticed that I like to intersperse my rambles with images related in some way, somehow, no matter how much you have to stretch that elastic imagination of yours to get it. I was hoping to find some brilliantly surreal or intricate piece of art related to trains of thought, and, whilst there were some, there were none that quite cut it as much as this one...
Thank you Timmy and Tammy.
In total I must have written, well, over 2,000 reviews for that site alone. Nowadays even writing one for mates' bands or even just a brief paragraph to include on a music blog post seems too much. I'm not really sure why. Maybe just getting out of the routine of it. Maybe somewhere in there my mind is saying 'Don't do it, once you do one, you'll want to do hundreds again, and you don't have time.' (Yes, my mind actually does speak that logically, and at length to me. That's not insane, right?!).
My brain still functions, in fact, better now than ever before, when it comes to getting the typed out sentences in good order, concise, or maybe not so concise, but, either way, descriptively and in-depth when required. When someone asks me about a band I can happily witter away at length about them, constructively, or, sometimes just brutally, but either way I have an opinion, yet, the 'typing out a review and posting it around online' side of my nature just seems to have faltered. Seems a shame really, but it is how it is.
I was never one of those reviewers that had to clarify everything I'd said at the end with a mark.
2 stars out of 5.
5 skulls out of 6.
350 satans out of 666.
9 cumshots out of 69.
1 dead hooker out of 5.
If I couldn't clear up my thoughts on it IN the review, I shouldn't really be writing it. Not saying anything bad against those people who DO use a mark, or writers who write for magazines that require a mark... I worked for Zero Tolerance magazine for their first dozen or so issues, and had to give marks, they gave out of 6, and, to me, the only figure that it's worth marking out of, that gives you a real clear indication over the course of thousands of records what is better (in your humble opinion) than another record is out of 100. Much more scope for manoeuvre amidst that amount of numbers.
It's just not for me.
I understand the thinking behind it, so that on a release poster, especially more prevalent in the film industry, they can have a big collection of who gave what in one easy glimpse, I'd very much rather try and come up with some kind of defining line, be it a comparison of bands ('for fans of' etc., although I'd dress it up in something like 'X getting off with Y whilst Z is looking and masturbating', or 'X beating the shit out of Y with Z handing them a sledgehammer to finish off the job'), or something that highlighted if the band were out of the ordinary, or just better than the rest of the crop, the reason why. 'This band smashes your head right off, so hard and so far that it goes on a journey through time, where it punches the first dinosaur, eats the first pizza, kicks the first football, shoots the first heroin, and returns back to your body one second after it left, just in time to hear the next section.'
You know,
something completely ludicrous and unreal like that.
Unfortunately I never used that synopsis or either of those comparisons in a real review, maybe I should take it up again just to use them.
Even more unfortunately, the website that a vast majority of my reviews were on has since perished, taking with them the reviews. I think it's possible to get them back, but even if I did, I really don't think I'd have the energy to house them anywhere else again, and I especially wouldn't have the time or commitment to go through each and every one and correct (potentially) plenty of bad grammar and cringeworthy points made about the recordings. I've always been intelligent enough to know how to construct sentences properly, or interestingly, and spell things right, but grammar (things like apostrophes especially) could sometimes be my undoing, and I know I'd simply have to go through it all and sort it all out!
The website went down not because of unpopularity or anything like that, quite the opposite... It finished a year ago, reviews stopped around four or five years ago, and I STILL get the odd email from bands wanting reviews on it. In fact, I moved out of my mum's house (for the second time after going back after a break up) about 7 years ago, and very occasionally she STILL takes in letters with CDs in them for review, despite many an email around to everyone I knew who sent them.
For the last few years it existed just as a forum, with a lot of sections, for and not for music, as well as hosted sections for bands. Gradually though, forums (on the whole) have became uncool. Social network sites point and laugh at forums, and, it is a bit of a shame. To be honest, with Myspace seemingly shooting its own feet off, Twitter being incredibly one dimensional, and all the others just being rubbish, Facebook is the only one that, despite a lot of people's hatred of it, seems to have credibility, plenty of things to do, as well as keeping the simplicity factor, and it's good for both young, old and musical inclined.
This wasn't my intention, to turn my daily column into an advert for Facebook, but, there you have it. Trains of thought are fantastic things. It's been the one thing I am good at. Be them lyrics / poems / pieces of rambled writing, of which I've also scribbled down literally thousands... and still to this day I've really only put them together legibly and conceptually into just one body of work.
I may use this space to chuck together some of my outpourings. Depends on how lucky you all turn out to be. (Insert clarifying sarcastic punctuation mark here... (!) Thank you).
I currently work for a newspaper. I make up adverts that go into papers all up and down the UK, from many a part of Scotland, right down to the Midlands, a lot in West Yorkshire, some in South Yorkshire, some in the North West. I am, by my own admissions, good at what I do. I am a very fussy worker, and, even though (for some stupid reason) we're not supposed to proof read what is sent to us to use in the adverts, I do, and again, and maybe once more. I double and treble check adverts are all lined up and as neat and as good as I can make them. Occasionally we get editorials / advertorials, which are basically the big adverts that look like news pieces but are actually adverts. Clever eh. So, you, the reader, think you are reading a report that someone has unbiasedly made about the company saying how great they are, when really, it's the company saying how great they are.
I'm getting closer to my aim of becoming a columnist. In my job, I make adverts look like columns in newspapers all over the UK, and in here / my reviews / my occasional rants and superlative ramble-fests about bands on Facebook, I feel like I am having my say.
Incredibly, I managed to tie that all together.
You'd think I even planned what I was going to write about!
(NB - I didn't draw the dinosaur used in this post, but it does look similar to how I would probably draw one, so thanks to whoever painstaking drew that masterpiece)
By now, you'll have noticed that I like to intersperse my rambles with images related in some way, somehow, no matter how much you have to stretch that elastic imagination of yours to get it. I was hoping to find some brilliantly surreal or intricate piece of art related to trains of thought, and, whilst there were some, there were none that quite cut it as much as this one...
Thank you Timmy and Tammy.
Saturday 2 April 2011
Today I struggled to think of anything to post...
Friday 1 April 2011
Musée du quai Branly, Paris
A couple of years ago me and my wife Sarah went to Paris, had a fantastic time, saw a lot of the sights, went on wanders off the beaten track, and managed to pack in a ludicrous amount in our time there. We visited the Eiffel Tower, the Catacombes, the Arc de Triomphe, Moulin Rouge (there's a great metal / rock bar there called La Cantada 2), the Dali Museum, the Pompidou Centre, Pere Lachaise cemetery, the Louvre amongst others.
One of the places that really stood out for me was Musée du quai Branly, an absolutely magnificent museum that puts everywhere else I've ever been to shame. The permanent collections in there feature all manner of historical findings from thousands of years, from all over the entire world, ever little corner, from smaller, obscurer cultures, to things from right on our doorstep here in Europe, all fantastically laid out and presented, and a lot of quite unusual, fascinating things are shown around every corner.
One of the additional exhibitions was the 'Sex, death and sacrifice in the Mochica Religion', which was a lot of sculptures and artwork from the 1st to 8th Century from an area which is now the modern-day Peru.
You can download / read a PDF regarding the exhibition here
I'm not really mentioning this for any specific reason to be honest, all I am saying is, if you have an interest in anything to do with culture, history, the world around us, and you are visiting Paris, please, take a day out and go to this place, it will change your life.
NB:- The photography talent on these is Sarah, not me.
'NB' (for those that use it without actually knowing), means Nota Bene, it is Italian for 'Note Well', making you pay attention or also know...
Yeah, I'm gonna do that a lot! Hopefully we'll all learn 'stuff' on this journey.
One of the places that really stood out for me was Musée du quai Branly, an absolutely magnificent museum that puts everywhere else I've ever been to shame. The permanent collections in there feature all manner of historical findings from thousands of years, from all over the entire world, ever little corner, from smaller, obscurer cultures, to things from right on our doorstep here in Europe, all fantastically laid out and presented, and a lot of quite unusual, fascinating things are shown around every corner.
One of the additional exhibitions was the 'Sex, death and sacrifice in the Mochica Religion', which was a lot of sculptures and artwork from the 1st to 8th Century from an area which is now the modern-day Peru.
You can download / read a PDF regarding the exhibition here
I'm not really mentioning this for any specific reason to be honest, all I am saying is, if you have an interest in anything to do with culture, history, the world around us, and you are visiting Paris, please, take a day out and go to this place, it will change your life.
NB:- The photography talent on these is Sarah, not me.
'NB' (for those that use it without actually knowing), means Nota Bene, it is Italian for 'Note Well', making you pay attention or also know...
Yeah, I'm gonna do that a lot! Hopefully we'll all learn 'stuff' on this journey.
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